“I recognize that there's times as parents, we simply don't know what to do. And, often we find ourselves doing what our parents did, even though we promised that we would never do what they did. And, the reason why this is so important is... I want to give you insights into your child, to help you understand at a deeper level, what they're thinking, what their struggles are.” ~ Dr. Kevin Skinner
(Transcript available below)
START OF TRANSCRIPT
Heidi Higgins: Hi there. I'm Heidi Higgins and you are listening to K12 On Learning. Today I'm grateful to feature part one of our mental health series. Today's topic is building your child's confidence. The series is geared toward parents and is in partnership with the Cook Center for Human Connections and ParentGuidance.org. In addition to this podcast, the Cook Center and Stride have combined efforts to offer live interactive webinar sessions on the second Wednesday of every month. You can find the schedule in The National Learning Coach Community on the K12 app. Michelle Bartsch from the Cook Center is joining us on the podcast, along with Erica Seybert, a school counselor and director of school programs at Stride K12. Erica, if you don't mind, I'm going to turn the microphone over to you and let you introduce our Cook Center facilitators and the presenters for today's topic, building your child's confidence.
Erica Seybert: I'd love to. And welcome everybody. Thank you so much for being here. I just want to take a moment and welcome all of our learning coaches and parents, as well as educators across the Stride K12 network who have joined us here today. And thank you for making mental health a priority. My name is Erica and I'm a school counselor and director of school programs here at Stride K12. And I'm excited to announce the partnership with the Cook Center for Human Connections and ParentGuidance.org, to bring a series of our learning coach community, specifically designed for parents, guardians and caretakers to strengthen your relationship, knowledge and understanding of your children and learners. Today is the very first event and kicks off our mental health series. I'm thrilled to introduce our facilitator for today, Michelle Bartsch, as we dive into the topic of identity formation and building your child's confidence.
Michelle Bartsch: Erica, thank you so much. That's wonderful. It is an honor and a privilege to be your host today. So during our time together, we're going to explore Dr. Kevin Skinner's coursework on identity formation. And we're going to talk about how to build your child's confidence. All right, building your child's confidence, identity formation. So this is our very first series that's hosted by Stride. Thank you for making this available to your parents and learning coaches. I want to start by introducing Dr. Skinner. Dr. Skinner is an amazing therapist and he has over 25 years experience in helping families. And he's also our clinical director and as you might expect. A licensed marriage and family therapist. I just am privileged to be able to share some of his insight. Let's go ahead and listen to how he shares about helping our children achieve a more confident identity, opening up their playfulness and creativity.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: Welcome to Parent Guidance. I'm Dr. Kevin Skinner. Over the past 26 years, I've had the privilege of working with hundreds of individuals, couples, and families. Inevitably, as we talk, it comes back to, "How do I help my child?" I remember my wife had our first child and we walked out of St. Elizabeth's Hospital and I was carrying this newborn infant thinking, what do we do? Where's the manual? Now, since that time, I've learned a lot, I've experienced a lot. I recognize that there's times as parents, we simply don't know what to do. And often, we find ourselves doing what our parents did, even though we promised that we would never do what they did. And the reason why this is so important is I want to give you insights into your child to help you understand at a deeper level what they're thinking, what their struggles are. I'm grateful that you've joined me and I look forward to sharing this information with you.
Michelle Bartsch: We are in unprecedented times, aren't we? And if you thought your child did not come with a manual, however many years ago, you are quite certain that there is no manual for how to handle and raise children in a pandemic that we thought was potentially going to be over, and we're not sure, on a daily basis, what kind of news we get every single day. So parents all across our country are looking for ways to be able to help their children. And I hope that we're able to help you today. And in this continuing series, this is why we're going to continue to do this because we can't learn it all today. Right? So let's look at what Dr. Skinner has to say about identity formation.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: The power of understanding how we form our identity, and as a parent, what you can do to help your child form an identity where they're more confident, more playful, more creative. As we continue to grow from infancy throughout our adolescent, and even into our adult years, we form these neural maps. These what we would say patterns, patterns of interaction, patterns of how I see you. And so we do things so habitually, patternistically, that we do things without even thinking. So for example, I'd like you to brush your teeth. Ready? So you get your hand up, you ready? Do you have it up? Okay, great. Thank you. You got it up. We're brushing, we're brushing. How you doing there? You're just fine. Now I want you to try to brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand.
Ow, that hurt, right? That those gums are getting hurt because what? You're not used to the angles. You're not used to moving that hand that way. In truth, these neural maps or neural patterns have been established. So if you do it with your dominant hand, you do it without even thinking. You do it with your non-dominant hand and you have to think. These neural maps that we form about people and relationships and our identity, they're formed and they continue to be reinforced over time. And why is this a big deal? Because some of these neural maps, where do I belong? Will you be there for me? And who am I and where do I fit? These foundational questions, they don't ever go away. But once we have an idea of who we are, then we continue to nurture that identity. But what happens if that identity is, "I don't belong, I don't fit"? Oh, I'm the anxious one. I'm the spoiled one.
We start to fit into these niches and suddenly, we don't even question anymore, "Oh yeah. I'm the geek. I'm the nerd." And you can start to see how we form this identity around our experiences. The consequences, if we don't ever have anything to interrupt that, we can form an identity and get lost in it and people around us don't even know. Now, if I was to invite you to say, what core beliefs do I think my child has about themself, you might be surprised at how accurate you are, because you've heard your child say it over and over. "I'm not kind of social, or I don't do things like that. Or I'm not that smart. I don't do well in math." You hear it, right? You hear that belief that they've kind of started to adopt, an identity formation is already sinking in, so to speak. And once they've accepted those fundamental beliefs, that's how they feel about themselves. And as parents, we want to observe that and help them question and keep an open mind into who their identity really is.
Michelle Bartsch: All right. So let's talk about that. Do you label your children? Does your extended family? Have you ever heard someone say, "This is my troublemaker"? Are we as parents pigeonholing our kiddos? Here comes trouble, with a capital T. Hey, what if the child says challenge accepted, where are we then? So labels don't have to be negative, labels can be positive. So either way, positive or negative, but how do you think your child would describe themself? I am the, blank one. My niece is a redhead with a temper. So you can imagine the labels that we try not to put on her. But inadvertently, and we love her, but things like that happens. Your family might be big jokesters, or maybe they poke fun of each other in good fun. Keeping that in mind, again, reflect how does your child see themselves? But this might be a really good question for you to put down in your notebook with your paper and pen, write that down.
And then when you have a little quiet time start thinking about how do we label my child? What kind of words do we describe them? And then what kind of words do I start listening and thinking about, what am I hearing my child? How am I hearing them describe it? Truthfully, how we see them is not as important as how they see themselves. And so if they feel unloved, whether it's true or not, it's true to them. It's real in their world. "I'm the shy one. I'm the weird one. I'm the night owl. Strange. I'm the talkative. I'm the boss. I'm the worst. I'm the smarty pant. I'm the one with the temper issues. I'm the perfect one." If they feel like they're the perfect one, then how do their siblings feel, I'm wondering. We're going to, first of all, look at changing patterns and patterns.
It's not always easy, but we're going to look at why we need to do that, and then we're going to look at how to change those patterns. And then we're going to look at attuning or listening to your child. Not only their words, but also their actions, developing resiliency traits and being able to strengthen their ability to ride those highs and lows, that all of us experience in life. We're going to talk about fostering creativity in your child's mind and how playing is important to their development. And then we're going to look at developing a growth mindset and finally, look at ways to continually be able to connect with your children. Let's look at our first topic. So changing habits and patterns. Dr. Skinner mentioned brushing our teeth and how easy it is with our dominant hand. But again, have you ever been forced to use the other hand for something, brushing your teeth or other things? Even something so simple can feel very awkward and uncomfortable. So just imagine for a minute what Dr. Skinner's going to say about learning, how to change habits and patterns.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: Our identity, our beliefs, how we see ourselves, it's all variable. It changes. In fact, they've found that we can change our genetic makeup, the things that manifest, just by how we live our lives. For example, what is the influence of daily routine of exercise? What is the influence of changing our eating habits? What is the influence of having a close friend, in contrast with spending all your time alone? It changes us. It changes how we feel inside. So really important to understand that there is no neural map or map or identity formation that is fixed. It can be altered and changed. So here's a quote by Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell, "When we send out a signal, our brains are receptive to the responses of others to that signal. The responses we receive become embedded in the neural maps of our core sense of self. A neural representation of the self as changed by the other is created within our brains that becomes a central aspect of our sense of identity."
All right. So what does that mean? You influence me, I influence you. That sense of identity comes from our day-to-day interactions. So if I formed an identity that I'm not enough of, or you're mad at me all the time, or you don't like me, what happens to that child when I go up to them and say, "I haven't been available to you. I think I've been too busy. And I need to apologize because you're really important to me and I haven't been there." What would happen to that child's sense of identity and how they fit with you and how they see you in that acknowledgement? The point is it doesn't have to be fixed, it can be altered. And I sense it based upon how I interact with you.
Michelle Bartsch: We can change our neural mats and we can change that based on our environments. For example, if we have a close friend versus spending time alone, this changes the way we feel inside. So if you have more than one child, think about the environment in your home when one goes away for a while, maybe to camp or stay with relatives. We definitely notice that the energy shifts in our home, in their absence, don't we? Yeah, we get really used to the environment that we live in and therefore, our identity shifts based on our environment. So what kind of message are your actions really sending to your child? Are you building their identity in a positive manner in the way that which you interact with them? Well, let's take a look and see about listening or attuning to our children.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: You sense that your child's in distress and you say, "Oh, are you doing okay?" And they say, "I'm fine." And you say, "You don't sound too fine." They say, "I don't want to talk about it. Well, fine, if you don't want to talk about it, then great," or, "I'm here if you'd like to talk about it, I'd love to be here for you." Now, those two responses, the quality, the intensity, and the timing of it. If I'm there, if my timing is present, I'm reading somethings off. That type of emotional response enables us to be what we would say, attuned to our children. That then creates the neural map of, okay, I can trust this person, I can be there. They'll be there for me and I can be that vulnerable with them. If we're going to help our children form a good identity, those are the moments where we're present enough to detect they need attention.
Now, this is work as a parent. This isn't easy. But parenting in and of itself, we don't have to be 100% perfect. We just have to be there enough and they have to know enough that we do care. So when it matters the most, we are there and available. If we're going to help our children form a healthy identity, it's that they recognize that they have a place to bounce things off of.
Recently, for example, my son, we haven't had a whole lot of boys his age in our neighborhood. But recently somebody moved in almost exactly his age. And last night, he spent hours and hours out by this tree creating this unique fort in this place, and they were playing. And he came in energized because they had been creating something together. He was forming an identity of connection with another person because they were playing this mental game together.
And if somebody came to steal us or get us, we'd go through this tunnel, but you can hear it. Now that kind of interaction is something that my wife and I have been longing for, for him, because it's in those connections where he learns social skills. He learns to interact and play. And that's where their confidence grows. The neural mapping is, "I belong in this world. I fit."
Now, let me contrast that with an adolescent who is at school and being bullied, and don't have anybody to come talk to about that experience, or the person who is in a dating relationship and that person breaks up with them, or even worse, cheats on them. And now they're feeling despair, they're feeling like I don't fit and I don't belong. And maybe that person that broke up with them is now going around and telling others that your child was bad. Now that child's even more ostracized, left out, not a part of. And in scenarios or situations like that, it is imperative for us as parents to detect, to connect in a timely way, in a quality way where they feel heard and they feel understood, and they have a safe place.
The concept here of identity formation is that we help them realize they have a safe haven in our homes at all times. Now that requires us as parents to be attuned. And it requires us to be on our game. But if we can do that, we will help our children in the identity formation of confidence and they'll be able to be resilient through those experiences because we've created a safe haven and an awareness that they need us in those times.
Michelle Bartsch: So Dr. Skinner says a coherent sense of self is feeling, "I have a world that understands me." What an incredible feeling that is. And you know what? We don't have to be 100% perfect. We just need to be there enough so that when it matters the most, we are there for our children and we are available. It's really important to keep those lines of communication open with our children so that they're going to be able to feel like they can come to us when they need us. And we need to start that early, letting them know that we have unconditional love for them and that we are there for them no matter what. We're all guilty of this. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own busyness right? We forget to really slow down. We forget to ask questions of our children.
And then we might remember to ask questions, but do we remember to listen to their answers? Do we truly listen to what they're saying or do we slow down enough to hear what they're not saying? So being attuned to our children means being aware. So Dr. Skinner talked about longing for a friendship with his son. When we form a connection, we really form that sense of belonging. So think about your child, think about your children. As a parent, how do you decide where to focus your attention? In a perfect world, we'd give 100% of attention to every situation and to every child what they need, but we can't really do that. So let's talk about resiliency.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: We want to incorporate in this identity development, the message that we do hard things, we overcome challenges. Resiliency also comes when we teach our children that they are good enough. No matter what they go through, no matter what challenges they experience, we're trying to incorporate this core belief, you're not going to be perfect, you're going to make mistakes. See resiliency then is allowing mistakes, allowing them to falter and get back up. So come home with a C, what do you say? Oh my goodness. You're just like me. You're not going to amount to much. Oh, wait. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that." I'm teasing. The point, they come home with a C, "Did you learn in the class? What did you learn? Do you feel like you applied yourself?" Now, those types of questions get them thinking. But ultimately, what we're just trying to help them understand is they can be in charge of their outcomes.
If they work hard, they can be creative and do better things. There is nothing in our world that is fixed. Resilient people have a range of emotions. It's not just one emotion. We have ups and we have downs. So what I learned from resilient people is they had flexibility, not rigidity, but they were able to be flexible. And so they had hard days, they had days that were depressing. And they were able to say, "I'm going to have hard days like this, and that's okay." As we form this identity, we need to recognize we're going to have ups and downs and ebbs and flows. We're going to wax and we're going to wane. We're going to be strong and we're going to be sad and feel weak, and be sad and happy, and sad and happy, and sad and happy, and up and down. And so when we talk with our children, we honor these emotional experiences.
And then we ask questions and teach them by saying things like, "What are you learning from these experiences?" And we're teaching them to be resilient by understanding and learning and growing from these experiences. As children go through puberty, we can fully expect that the hormones inside of them are going to create a range of emotions. And so there's certain times as parents, we're going to say, "Oh, that's what's going on today." And we're going to allow them to be in an energy and if it's not completely inappropriate, we'll say, "That's where you are. It's okay. I understand that you are angry. Just know that I'm here and I care and you matter. But I don't want to be treated that way. I know dad." You understand the concepts.
Resilient people have flexibility, ups and downs, and their parents allow them to be in those emotions. And they begin to teach them how to regulate those emotions, how to deal with those emotions. It's not that they're bad emotions. We teach them, "Hey, you are feeling sad. Let's talk about sad. Let's learn about this. You are feeling socially anxious. Let's talk about that anxiety. What's your fears? Help me understand." Let's give it a language. Let's speak about it.
Michelle Bartsch: As parents. It is the hardest thing to watch your child struggle. We can't always do anything about it. And sometimes, we really shouldn't try to keep them from that struggle or that pain, because what we need to do is help them learn how to be resilient. And we need to honor their emotional experiences. And I think probably we all can agree when we look back in our life, there were maybe some difficult or painful times in our life that weren't fun to go through. But when you look back on it, you're like, you know what I really learned from that experience. And I've grown as a person and as a parent, it is so hard to let your kids learn from adversity. That's painful. That hurts us so deeply. It is good for us to help our children to learn how to go through hard times. That's when they're going to grow.
And children need to know that they're enough. They need to know that they're good enough, no matter what they go through and no matter what society tells them. So if we can help them to know that you are good enough and you are going to go through some struggles and some hard times, and we are there together, constantly reminding them of their worth. And that helps them to build that positive identity. And it helps us to create that safe haven in our home because the world's a cruel place. We know that. So we've got to be that protective factor for our children. What I'd like to do, talk just a little bit about what you can say to acknowledge your child's emotional experiences. So when we're around people that we're comfortable with, we feel connected. But for your child, when they're in social situations, maybe they're out of their element.
What can you say to acknowledge your child when they are in that situation? How can you acknowledge their feelings? What are some phrases that you use to acknowledge? You're important. I'm here for you. Let me know when you want to talk about anything, your feelings, what you went through. Even to say, "Let me know when you want to talk about that test grade." Again, putting that power in the hands of your child, that they can choose to come to you to talk about something, powerful, powerful. "It will be okay if we all feel this way, I love you. No matter what, I'm always here for you. I'm sorry you're hurting." Sometimes we don't need to fix things. Sometimes we just need to lend an ear. "I'm sorry you're hurting. It's going to be okay. You're valued. I appreciate sharing your emotions. I see you. I love you. Tell me what's going on. I love you, no matter what. Help me understand what you're feeling is valid. We're always with you. I'm here to talk. I'm listening with my ears and my heart."
I just have to share that, especially during the teen years and when my daughter was in college, she would call and share all of these feelings or problems. Well, as a mom, I want to fix it. So I started giving her advice. And she says, "Mom, stop. I don't need you to fix it. I just need you to listen." And so just to be vulnerable here, we have a protocol that we go through and I tell her, "If you want me to just listen, you got to tell me up front. Mom, I want to talk, but I really don't want you to fix it. I just need you to listen."
Because then that helps me to take my mom hat off and just put on my listening ears and be that sounding board that she needs. It seems you're experiencing some feelings and stuff. Would you like to share them? Again, giving them power? "I hear that you're sad. Would you like to talk about it? No, one's perfect. I'll help you. I'm here to be an extra set of ears, no judgment." And then you have to really mean that don't you? That might be a test of our fortitude, but we have to offer that and we have to mean it. "It's okay for you to feel that way. Your bad days don't mean that every day will be bad. Let's talk when you're ready. I've been in the same situation. I'm always here for you."
Sometimes it's okay to give an example of a similar feeling that you felt and how you handled it and let them know that you're open and that they're human and it's okay to feel how they're feeling. But we can work better together. "I'm here to talk. Life is crazy. Let's go on a hike and chat about it." Dr. Skinner often talks about windshield time when you're in the car. So you've got a captive audience, but you're not looking at them. It's very comfortable for them because we're just all in the car, and then they just start talking. Mom has feelings too and I'm here to listen. Yes, let's pray about it together. Let's talk about it together. I'll sit by you quietly if that's what you need now. I do think as parents, we're always trying to get them to talk about it, talk about it, share. Sometimes it is just nice to have somebody next to you when you just don't want to talk about it. All right, allow your child's mind to be creative. Let's talk about how we can foster creativity in our children.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: One of the things that we know about children is their ability to play is one of the best things that they can do. In fact, they often say that playing is the job of a child and learning how to play, learning how to interact with others, learning how to be creative and imaginative. I remember one of my teachers in child development said, "You want your child to have fictitious characters and characters that they make up in their mind because that creative interaction helps them be social." So think about your child's ability to play. Play games, play with friends, play with dolls, play with big trucks, or Tonka trucks. As adolescents, having them play with peers, interact with their peers, these are things that we want to encourage. And having them in our homes, playing games with their friends in our homes, it's a very valuable thing.
What is your child doing to play? And I would encourage that play to have two or three different facets. One is human interaction, two is some type of hand-eye coordination, creativity. So if it's a sport, that's great. That's a great way to play. Another one is actually to be imaginative in drama. I remember my wife and her sisters, when they get together, our children would create plays together. And it was so much fun to watch. They would create a script and then they would do a play for us. These types of interactions are memories to never be forgotten in our home because our children were learning to play and interact with each other. So another way to create this identity formation is in how we play.
Michelle Bartsch: So playing is the job of a child. When was the last time you played with your child? Not just watching them play, but actually interacted with them in a playful way. Let's answer this question. If our children's job is to play, how do your children play? They need the social interactions and they need the opportunities to explore their imaginations. So what types of things do you see your children doing to play? So some children do play alone. Some children play side by side. Some children are very imaginative, drawing, singing, role playing, and that's so important. Building things, electronics, doll houses, sports alone or with friends, making a play, putting on a show for us to watch, great imaginations, video games with friends, realistic play with kitchens and families.
Co-play, side by side, building with Legos. Piano, playing the piano. Creating animations. You can see the gamut of ages from young children to older children. We all need to play and I just kind of submit to you when your stress levels are high, can you take a minute of time out to play with your child? You might find that it's a stress reliever for you as much as it is with your child. So let's talk about developing a growth mindset.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: Talent Is Underrated is a book. And in the book, the author talks about everybody who's been an expert at something has had to spend a tremendous amount of time developing that talent. That's the message we want to send to our children, that if you don't get it at first, we're going to keep trying. And as you work and do hard things, you're going to realize that payday is in the effort. So as a parent, the message we want to instill in our child or children is that everything that is good takes effort. So here's a couple more quotes by Dr. Dweck. She says, "What are the consequences of thinking that your intelligence or personality is something you can develop, as opposed to something that is a fixed deep seated trait?" It's a big deal. If it's just my trait, then I'm stuck. In contrast, with something I can develop.
Believing that your qualities are carved in stone, the fixed mindset, creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. And so the fixed mindset is I've got to prove that I'm enough. I've got to prove that I'm enough. In contrast with the growth mindset, this is how she describes a growth mindset. "This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests or temperaments, everyone can change and grow through application and experience."
Now, as we help our child form an identity, we want to focus on the language of a growth mindset. If our child has developed a fixed mindset, "I just can't do this," the message we want to send is maybe you have your own story of where you've had to work through something and you've had to work hard to accomplish it. Share your story and let them know that it's going to be in the effort, practice with them over and over.
A few years ago, I was working with one of my children to do a layup. Now, if you've ever coached basketball, in particular girls' basketball, I've done so for over 12 years. And I can tell you that most fifth and sixth graders have a really hard time doing a layup, and especially doing a layup off of the right foot when they're doing a right-handed layup. So I had my daughters go practice right, left, up, right, left, up, right, left, up, right, left, up, right left up. Right step, left step, up you go. And I taught my daughter, I said, "I don't want you to do anything else. I just want you to get that ball right, left, up, right, left, up." So she did that for a few weeks. And then she said, "Well, can I do that lefthanded?" I said, "I don't know. You want to try?" So I said, "What would that be? Left, right, up. Left step, right, up. Left, right, up, left, right, up."
And she did it. By the time she was in sixth grade, she could drive to the right side of the basket, she could drive to the left side of the basket because she had taken the time to develop that skill. The message you want to send to your child is nothing is fixed. If they want to develop a skill, math, art, a sport, playing the piano, whatever it is, teach them that it's going to be the effort. That formation of an identity is I can do hard things. That will progress and help them progress in a powerful way.
Michelle Bartsch: Everything that is good takes effort. It's helpful for our children to know that. Let's move on and let's talk about opportunities for connection.
Dr. Kevin Skinner: Now finally, I just want to emphasize, as our children are forming an identity, we want to help them create continuous connections. The reason why we want this is because all identity formation is relational. So if you observe that your child is alone, isolated, you might want to create activities within your home. Maybe you take them out for ice cream. Maybe you go on hikes. Maybe you go on road trips, on vacations.
I remember one family during COVID-19. What they did is they realized that their kids weren't going to be able to be social with their friends. So they had a big family activity and they went on a long road trip. The concept is this, we want to create an environment where our children are having relationship opportunities to interact and to be with other people that are safe and healthy for them. If they can't find it outside, we want to create that inside of our homes. The best way to form a good positive identity is within the walls of our own homes, creating an environment where they feel connected, heard, and valued. In summary, we can have a big influence on our children's identity development if we just slow down enough to follow some of these things that we've talked about in this course. Everything from helping them understand the fixed growth mindset versus the fixed mindset, helping them feel heard by having empathy, helping them learn to play, helping them be resilient. These are the things that can strengthen their identity. I wish you the best of luck.
Michelle Bartsch: Dr. Skinner is so real in talking about identity formation and how we can help them by making sure that we have a safe environment for them. One thing that I'd like to share with you right now is a website, and Dr. Skinner is our clinical director. This is parentguidance.org. And I just want you to know that you can go to parentguidance.org. This is a free website for all parents. So tell your neighbors, tell your friends, tell your family, tell the people in the grocery store, people at church, in the community. This is a free resource. And let me just share quickly what it has to offer.
Some featured courses. Here's one about bullying, how to help when your children are bullied. Here are some developmentally appropriate classes. What to expect as your child forms their identity and different age groups. There are a lot of self-help courses for parents. How to develop self-compassion. A lot of times we don't know how to help our children, because we haven't helped ourselves. We're not sure. We haven't developed the self-compassion. So if we haven't developed that for ourselves, it's very difficult for us to help our children. Here's an ask a therapist feature. So you can go on the website, post your question and one of our therapists will post it on our library of FAQs. And what they do, and Dr. Skinner answers a lot of them, but what they do is it'll be a video response and then it's also transcribed. So I'm just going to encourage everybody to go on parentguidance.org, check it out and see if there's information there that is helpful to you. Remember, it's a free website. I'm going to turn this back over to Erica.
Erica Seybert: Awesome. So I similarly want to echo Michelle and say thank you for your time in today's session. So as a final note, as we wrap up today, I want to invite each of you to join us in the National Learning Coach Community in the K12 app to continue the conversation on mental health, access resources and provide feedback on today's session. So thank you again, everyone and I wish you a wonderful week.
Heidi Higgins: Thank you for listening to K12 On Learning, sponsored by Stride. To learn more about online public schools, powered by Stride K12, Stride career prep programs that foster lifelong learning or any of the private school or individual course offerings, please go to Stridelearning.com or k12.com. Special thanks to Tree-K Studios for providing the music for us. Remember to subscribe to this podcast and feel free to leave us a good review. We hope you'll join us next time for K12 On Learning.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
Meet a Leader in online education.
See why over two million students have chosen Stride K12-powered schools.